Accounts of the Afterlife

“I would have thought it was crazy, but here I am. Maybe you can only understand things based on where you are. Even when I was sick I wouldn’t have believed it would be possible. I’m learning differently. And there is a lot to learn, I’m sure, and eternity to do it. 

“It’s pure euphoria. I don’t have stress or worry. I’m accountable to no one for nothing. Everyone I’ve ever known is here. 

“It was one big party. I like the drinks the most. I went a long time without food and drink. 

You know, it is not sad. It’s shocking but it’s not sad. I found myself on a clear sand beach and I could breathe again! It felt good. How could I be afraid anymore?”

“You tell them that I’m everywhere. I am dancing on a ray of sunlight, singing songs. I’m riding on the breeze of laughter. I am not just one place anymore, and being free means that I’m any place I want - even in the sweetness of a chocolate bar. I am not only in what happened before but in all the wonder that comes. I am not gone but forever alive now. 

“Dreams live on, of course. It’s not about legacy; it’s about being able to enter the adventure. I’ve got a pass now into anything - not into dreaming but being all things. It is so much better. The accounting was so easy.

“I am light now, pure light. Before I was a small life rubbing two sticks together, hoping to ignite a flame to feel myself. Now I am light, and I have no spot of darkness near. I have no fear. I am on this adventure, delighting in anything I decide. In infinity now I ride. And it’s a softer, more real soulful touch now. Ain’t it grand? Because it’s all of me. And I never ever can remember when I got to be this me. It is like a holiday without end. Multiply it, spin it, ride it, breathe it, and shout it. But the awe, the awe - it is just indescribable. 

“Go now and see the tales they will tell about me - some true, some because a legend is easier to develop than to feel the pain of the goodbyes. But I’ll sit right there in the radiant light and laugh because no one can know this joy and wink and understand. I am alive. I am now alive.  

“If you are asked, say you know now that my presence surrounds you because it does. Damn! I’m good - finally. Finally.”

"My brother got me. Yep, José. ‘Well,’ he said. ‘Just hurry up. Mom is waiting.’

And she was, with her arms open.

Yes, I know, I know. In life your grandma was hell on wheels, but her heart was huge, and there was nowhere else you’d ever want to be. 

The thing about mothers - even for me - is that you get to be seen after you’re dead. I didn’t see my mother until after she left. I just saw her as someone I didn’t understand and who always wanted me to be someone else. Of course, that wasn’t the truth. It was my own insecurities. 

Then I saw I still was judging myself, not her, because she was dead. That’s when I realized. And my heart flooded with all her love. I’d been the one who put it in a glass jar, not her. That’s the way it is. It’s just the way of mothers and daughters. Sons? Well, they just say, ‘Next.’"

"You think I chose death. This is not true. I, the man, did not choose it. Did my soul choose it? It must be so for I did travel beyond the small world of the man, and what I entered was the sea of my own soul - and I did not run from myself as I did as the man. I was there in the embrace of myself and all the elders, and I did see the love that I did not always feel as the man. 

I did not choose death. It came to me as my door into a deeper part of my soul, and it had nothing to do with my condition or my choice. It was not so, for it was my soul that reached ahead of my body and then I had to follow. 

I did not expect to have the light of my body go so quickly. And then I was in the sea of dancing light. I felt warm but I was alone. Then it was spoken to me that I could do anything my soul wanted. And I turned in the sea of light and I saw my family as the shore. So I waded between the world of soul and the shore of those I love. But I go nowhere else because I do not desire more. So I sit with my elders, and I hear the stories of all the times."

“It’s one-two-three leap. One-two-three leap. Remember that. It’s like floating without a drop. Updraft all the way.

“Two glasses poured and ready. Two glasses poured and ready, and a little sign up for all to see - Together for eternity. My love only grew, my desire only grew. My heart only waits for you. I’m so anxious. It’s so hard to wait. 

“Don’t be afraid. One-two-three leap, feet first, into the adventure no one prepares for or understands. It’s not like anything you might think. It’s being all places at once at any point in time or location. The simultaneous experience of everything. Reality is as large as your imagination. But the one thing you can’t cross is to be together without this. 

“It’s an easy transition. No tunnel or flashing lights, okay? No review of every second. No judgments, no regrets, no pronouncements or explanations. Just me standing there. Remember: one-two-three and leap. Me - I’ll be standing there.”

“I was covered in a blanket of white roses and each one had a leaf of love. My father caught me when I came. He has strong hands and they are softer than I remembered. I was not frightened because he held me and said, ‘I’ve been waiting for you.’

“I see many of my cousins and my aunts and uncles and my grandparents and their grandparents. We gather often, and we speak not of that which is dead but that which is alive. Each one of us, alive! 

“It is like the plateau of all desire. It is to sit on the top of the highest mountain and want for nothing, to know you are in heaven so you do not need to worry there is no heaven. I am full. I hunger no more. I work no more. I wait no more. I only love and am loved. I am more than the snowflake and I am more than the river. I am part of everything that God has created. And in going I got to remember this.

“I am home and I am not in pain, only in joy - in joy like I felt when first I held each child, and joy that I felt when I was in Papa’s arms. Oh, such joy! I am beautiful now. Light a candle and watch the flame dance and know I am dancing.”